Awkward moments

Yesterday I had one of those unfortunate conversations where every question asked generates an awkward answer, which is followed by an awkward silence.

It went along the lines of:

S: Hello Katy, how are you? Are you feeling less stressed since the end of your exams?

K: Well, I suppose so, though I'm having a few minor mental health problems at the moment, so I'm not feeling at my best, though I'm much better than I was a month or so ago.

S: Oh dear. Um, well, how did your exam results go? I bet you did really well, with all that hard work you put in!

K: Actually, I didn't do as well as I'd have liked. I failed.*

S: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you still seeing that same nice girl as before?

K: No.

S: Oh. Um, how are your parents? Didn't they go away on holiday recently?

K: Not too good. They've split up and, er, my dad moved out two weeks ago.

S: Oh. Um, shit, I'm sorry. (In a desperate attempt to lighten the conversation) Um, how's the cat? Has he caught any mice recently?

K: He's dead. Got run over when he was washing his arse in the middle of the road.*

S: Oh, god. (Pause) Do you want a cup of tea?

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Footnotes:

* = made up and added in for effect. I got a 2:1 and the cat's fine.

Punishment for the perpetrators of the sex trade, not its victims

It is only too right that men who buy sex should face potential prosecution and punishment.

The current legislation surrounding prostitution penalises prostitutes themselves, a large proportion of whom have been illegally trafficked into this country for use as sex workers, or driven to prostitution through poverty and drug abuse. Hardly the "free choice" that some people cite as a reason for legalising prostitution, or evidence that poverty-striken, crack addict or otherwise desperate women are often better off earning money in the sex trade than anywhere else. Nor is this a demonstration that prostitutes "know what they are doing" when they enter the sex trade; research has found that four fifths of London prostitutes are from abroad - mainly from eastern Europe and south east Asia - and a large number have come to this country on the understanding that they would be provided with jobs in restaurants or cafes, security and "a better way of life".

Current laws do, fortunately, crack down harshly on those men (and occasionally women) involved in the supplying of sex workers from foreign countries to the streets of Britain, but the men who actually pay for their services, provide the money and thus create the demand in the first place, get off scot free.

Eight years ago Sweden took the step of criminalising men who buy sex, and decriminalising the act of selling it, which has led to a huge decrease in the number of brothels, as well as significantly lowering the level of trafficking into the country.

Discussions at this stage in Britain include the naming and shaming of men caught kerb crawling, and changes in legislation to see the criminalisation of men paying for sex, though no concrete proposals have yet been made. The sooner the better. It's about time that in this country, where women's rights, the pay gap and gender equality are so high on the government agenda, something is done to punish the men who undermine the whole concept of women's rights, not to mention the self-respect of the individual women concerned. This rather than penalising the women themselves, who need help, not punishment.

Sources:
The Guardian
The New Statesman

Bienvenue à Paris, have a lovely day!

The notoriously rude Parisians should perhaps take a leaf or two out of New York's new, friendly book. The city's mayor has launched a campaign called Just Ask the Locals, whose strategies to improve New York's grumpy image include tips for visitors easily accessible via a phone line, special maps on street corners, videos designed for tourists in taxis, 50 street teams of chirpy "ambassadors" and the support of several high-profile celebrities, including a grinning Robert de Niro and an unusually cheery-looking Julianne Moore.

I can't quite see residents of the French capital taking this idea on board, though the odd improvement in their general attitude towards the rest of the population sometimes wouldn't go amiss. It has even been known for a bizarre psychiatric problem labelled "Paris Syndrome" to develop amonst Japanese tourists, triggered by the shock of an aggressive "bof!", an unprovoked "non!" in a restaurant or even a filthy look and a "merde!" during the push and shove to get on the train before the doors shut at a busy metro station platform. Some travellers are left shellshocked and unable to cope, and require counselling on the flight back to Japan.

It seems that the Parisians are aware, maybe even a teensy bit proud, of their characteristic lack of civility towards others, and perhaps their rudeness contributes a little to the town's haughty charms. Television adverts for the city's local paper, Le Parisien, include a scene of a tourist asking for directions to the Eiffel Tower, the Frenchman pointing him down one street, then the camera zooming out to reveal that the monument is in fact just around the corner, in the opposite direction to where the tourist has just been pointed. The scene is accompanied by the words: Le Parisien, il vaut mieux l'avoir en journal!, meaning The Parisian: better as a newspaper!